Dear Koko,

Thank you so much for sharing your deepest feeling with us, I cannot agree more to the things you have said. Ah Ma is truly a blessed woman to have so many people who loves her so dearly. You have inspired me to blog about my experience in the next two weeks with her, to try and capture the memories and stories that we will share so that we can all learn more about this amazing woman that we call Ah Ma or Mother.... I cannot wait to be back.


Why do we love our Ah Ma or Mother so much ?  because she is like a walnut ...
She surrounds herself on the outside with a hard shell that is rough around the edges. If you don't know her well she is just a hard nut to crack. For all of us lucky ones we have taste the walnut from the inside. She has a soft heart that always means well and will go all out to provide and nourish us with her best Nyonya cooking, nurture us by teaching us how to cook and to make the right decisions in life which sometimes includes knowing when to follow our heart and not just our brain. That explains why it was a no brainer that we should come home and see her especially since we have missed so much time being away from Malaysia.  

Just like how the walnut looks like a brain, our Ah Ma/Mother is also quite a brainy act herself. I had the chance to follow her to the market and witness how she haggles and outsmart the fishmonger at Math and how quickly she does it too.  Some of us must have inherited part of that that genes. As for the entrepreneurial qualities that we see in so many of us, do you know that Ah Ma is also quite an entrepreneur herself ? And you thought she was a housewife. She was the housewife that thought up a scheme like our current "prosper.com" with other neighborhood housewives. You can invest money into a pool and charge interest on that money that is available as short term loans to others that might need money on a pinch. I bet some of you did not know this :) genius I tell you. So some of us inherited that quality as well.

She had to be creative just to makes ends meet for her family, single income 5 kids is no joke I tell you. What an amazing mother ..

Ah Ma is also the most caring person, when her sister was diagnosed with cancer she was her only caretaker as her sister was a single person with no other immediate family. The care that she provided for her was truly unconditional. She will take a bus everyday to deliver home cook food for her while she was undergoing chemo..Today we all try to do the same for her.

I look all of us and I do see all the walnuts qualities. We are little walnuts ourselves. To truly understand, appreciate a LOVE an Ooi unconditionally is to look beyond the shell.....or buy a nut cracker ahahahha.

Stay tuned for more stories later.

Lov always
Lynn Ooi   

Hi all,

I am very very moved by everyone for making plans to visit/see Ah Mah.  No words can describe this feelings of mine and I'm sure Ah Mah will feel the same when she sees you all.  She certainly is a truly blessed person.  And I am truly blessed to have a family like ours.

Every one, take a minute to give yourself a pat on your shoulder and thank whoever up there for what we have cos not every family is able come together like ours  especially in a difficult time like this i.e.making sacrifices in our individual life or hectic schedules, putting away our differences and going the extra miles to show support for Ah Mah.

As you know,  Ah Mah's decease is terminal with a timeline of days or months at best.  She is now walking on a fine line or cliff where her conditions are unpredictable by the day or hours even.  Anything can trigger her condition to snowball for the worst.  In my opinion, you have made a terrific decision to come see her while she can still have some decent conversations with you. No point seeing her heavily sedated or at her funeral.

Nephews, Nieces,
So, news of your visit is certainly uplifting and gives me something to look forward to.   Ah Mah does not know of your visits yet but I'm sure she will be deeply touched by your support and love. Ah Mah may tear up when she sees you so let's be strong for her and keep your tears at bay if you can. (ok..some more "tear" inclined than others:))  We want to create an environment of hope with loads of happy memories for her.  P/S: she is not aware of the latest progression in T10/T12 and possibly in the brain and still hopes she can fight this decease.

To all my so-s and husband,
My deepest gratitude for providing support and tender loving care at times when mum needed it.   I know she is not always an easy person to be with or deal with.
I am forever grateful that you are able to put away all your differences to take her in, take care of her and provide her with comfort and care when she was with you.  It is not an easy task.  I know, I have a mother in law too :) ...mine a little more blessed than yours. hahaha.

Most of all, thank you for being a supportive partner/mother to us, Oois. We are not an easy lot.  Without your understanding and support, we will not have a blessed family like we have today.  You are no doubt the backbone of our family's unity. It takes a lot of compassion, patience and understanding from each of you.  For this, I am forever and exceptionally grateful.

Brothers,
You are the best in spite of all your quirky differences:)  I am so blessed to have brothers like you and most of all, I'm so appreciative that we can put all our differences aside,
being supportive of each other and stay close knitted in difficult times. I know i can always count on you.  And I also know that you guys are uncomfortable with mushy emotional stuff but hey, I'm a woman and I can get mushy..so, I'll keep it short.  I love you, brothers :)

Lastly, my dear family,  let us all join forces, put away all our differences, forgive all the past wrong doings/offences and make Ah Mah's remaining time with us as memorable as we can. This is the best any person can ask for; a united family where every member is all out to provide comfort, care, support and love as she fights her decease. 

Again my deepest gratitude to every one, my husband, my brothers, my sis-in-laws, my nieces and nephews, relatives and friends for all your support and love.

Rgds, SuYin

Questions to Answer:

 

1) Is it Mesothelioma?

2) Is the lung the primary or secondary cancer? How do we make sure with what test?

3) Do we have the biopsy slides?

4) Why stage IV? Where have the tumor spread to to justify this staging? If you read this link on staging, it seems like if abdominal organs are clean it shouldn't be stage IV unless they see lymph nodes matestasis. NCI_STAGING

 

Suggested treatment plan:

 

1. Penang Dr Raj
   

• Alimta (Chemotherapy)
  
• Irresa (EGFR - epidermal growth factor receptor) This drug is not to be taken lightly, please click on Irresa link and read carefully.
  

Comments:

OLL: Think it is early to decide on treatment plan, still not clear on the diagnosis.

Uncle Billy,

 

Do we have the biopsy slides from Penang? We need this for the future consults so that we don't have to make Ah Ma go through the biopsy process again.